The Institution of Marriage

So you thought Marriage is about either falling in love and getting married or, having an arranged marriage and learning to live with (if not love) the other person! I honestly think there is another option; Do Not Get Married. It is as simple as that.

I admit that my cynicism does not stem from a failed marriage or even, a failed love story. I talk from the things I see around me. I talk from my own deep-seated worries and cowardice. I talk for sad-asses like me, who have their entire life ahead of them but choose to sit back and plan every step along the way. I talk nothing you like to empathise with, but something each of us inevitably ends up relating to at some point in our lives! Bottom line, I do not believe in the institution of marriage, for it only goes to create more problems than it solves.

On the reasons of why not to get married, the foremost among the myriad reasons I have is this; the recognition of marriage as a social institution has led to an entire branch of law known as Family Law. Law students do not exactly jump up with joy when they think of all the different rules of marriage and divorce for different religions. It is moments like this when we fervently pray that, soon it will be the whole of India and not just Goa that follows the Uniform Civil Code. Just yesterday, I had to type out an entire essay about adultery and renunciation as grounds for divorce. In the present day, marriage is just that pit stop couples take before an ugly divorce battle ensues. And, personally, I find the concept of restitution of conjugal rights repulsive and think it is the worst form of moral depravity to force a person to live with someone he/she does not want to.

Forget the problems of the legal fraternity; getting married is like voluntarily entering into the last legal form of slavery that a person can wilfully sign up for. There is a definite reason why all fairy tales end with a ‘happily ever after’ right when they get married; no one wants to talk about the married lives of princes and princesses who might be sitting by a window in the castle, wondering whatever made them make this huge blunder. The marriages around me have couples constantly compromising and the bitterness inadvertently creeps in at some point. And it stays. And it grows. And they take out their frustrations on each other and this only makes their lives together, that much harder to endure.

Most importantly, marriage is not for people who value their solitude and independence. Like the three guys in Pyaar Ke Side Effects, I have often tried to reason out why superheroes only have love interests and not wives. The answer is like they say; getting married means being answerable to someone other than you. You have to stop and decide if the other person will be alright with the decision you are about to make.

Having said all this, I maintain that getting married is a mistake, but if I were to make this mistake I would like it to be my own mistake than someone else’s. What I am trying to say is, if I am planning to spend the rest of my life with someone, I would want to be the person deciding it. In the eventuality (read – certainty) that I come to regret getting married, I would only have myself to blame and not someone else. I believe in making my own mistakes and living through them, not someone else’s!

One Response to “The Institution of Marriage”
  1. Nirvana says:

    Wow!!! that was quite a skeptical post. Not that I am any less cynical. But the truth is that there are some benefits to this institution as well, you know!! Having said that, agree with the “Family Law” bit.

    Would be nice to have you come over at and see if you have anything to contribute 🙂

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