That unknown emotion…


Almost no movie is complete without it. Every book hints at it, either intentionally or otherwise. We catch a glimpse of it every now and then; be it a stolen kiss in a crowded train, or the tears that flow down an old man’s cheeks as he prays for his sick wife, or you can spot it in those moments when couples bicker – just for the sake of it!

Most people look for it their entire lives, and yet there are some who run away from it, but what about others who only have eyes for the tortures that it brings and place it right next to the topic of ghosts on the racks in their mind? What if the people from the last category get to relish in the happiness of a little modicum of this hitherto unknown emotion? And if they find out that this emotion and ghosts occupy completely separate and unrelated racks, what then?

About two years ago, I remember being engrossed in ‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover’. Despite the notoriety it received for passages with explicit description of sex, the impact it made on me was not a disgust that propriety demands. Neither was I relishing in the voyeuristic pleasure of reading the descriptions of someone else’s sexual-life. On the contrary, I was filled with thoughts about the pointlessness of all the taboos that society places on an individual. Why does a woman grow up dreaming of marrying a prince or ‘a knight in shining armour’? Why does she hope for an intellectual man who would sweep her off her feet with sheer smartness or ingenuity? And if anything from those paragraphs (that were widely criticised) is true, then why is it that people don’t talk about sexual-intercourse more openly? Or, is it that sex would only be pleasurable so long as it is a hushed-up affair? And why then does a woman worry about the man she gives herself to? What is so sacred about entering into a marriage as a virgin or sleeping with only one man in the course of your existence?

However, the sex is not the main topic of concern here. We are more worried about the emotions that play out their roles before sex eventually comes along and says the lines its been accorded. Why do humans feel the need to go about this entire courtship-phase before they can go ahead and procreate for the sake of the continuity of their species? Why do they have to go through those phases of doubt, confusion, hopes, fears and worries when they can simply dwell in plain, guilt-free, pleasurable sex? And why, oh why, do they refer to sexual intercourse as ‘love-making’? Are animals much better off or do they go through the same kind of emotions when they fight each other out to find out who gets to be with the female?

Or is it that I have been completely missing the point? Is there something behind the doubtful phase and before the pain and sadness sets in, that makes Eros the most celebrated and aspired form of love? And what exactly happens when one falls in love (why do they say ‘falling in love’ anyway, is love a well that people jump into?)? How does one know when they are actually in love with someone? And how do they grow out of love? Why do people continue to believe in love when the world around them and even their own lives are filled with instances where it has all come to naught?

However, would you be a coward to have come to arms length of this emotion and plunged into the very next exit you could find? Is it weakness to skip the entire process that you have seen on countless occasions ends in one destructive form or another, and leaves you a little more crumbled than you were before? Is there any rationale in giving up your dreams and aspirations for someone you believe you love?

Is it worth feeling you are incomplete and spending your entire life hoping to find that other half of this jigsaw puzzle that is you? Are you supposed to go through life feeling insignificant and incomplete if you never come across someone who ‘completes you’? Is it necessary to have someone tell you that their heart belongs to you? Do we really need someone to walk with us every step, every day, for the rest of our lives? Why is it that we feel the need to share every moment with this one ‘special someone’?

I’ll be the first to admit that nothing I have written thus far is anything but a web of questions. I have not attempted to give an answer to a single one of them because I know I do not know the answers to them, but does anyone of us really do? Does anyone come to this world armed with answers to anything and everything about life?… Maybe love is a drug you simply cannot get enough of. Maybe love is God’s way of ensuring that the human species successfully reproduce their own kind. Maybe I’ve spent too much time asking too many questions on a matter that I do not even remotely comprehend. Nevertheless, maybe, just maybe, I might have a point somewhere between the web of questions I have weaved out!

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Comments
2 Responses to “That unknown emotion…”
  1. Sometimes starting to answer these questions might throw in some more light, but just the thought that some explanation can be thought of might give some respite.

    Being a science student let me hazard a reason for it all; ‘chemicals’ make ‘love’ possible.

  2. annajohn says:

    Then i must say that, these chemicals r very powerful things!

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