A Future I DON’T See!

In a nutshell, this train-journey was a reinforcement of all my beliefs and principles. If I had ever allowed for any second thoughts on any matter, this journey succeeded in setting things back to – what I would call – ‘normalcy’. Now, I have explained the essential bit, but if you wish to continue reading the longer version, don’t blame me for taking the liberty to be a little long-winded!

I started out on my journey home, all prepared. I just love it when things fall into place EXACTLY like I wanted them to be. I am the sort of person who enjoys an event more because it is happening according to plan than when things happen spontaneously. Yes, I am predictable and I like being that way. I try from time to time to do something impromptu, but I just don’t derive the same amount of satisfaction out of it. Four years ago, I remember being upset when a friend told me that I was too predictable. I denied it for the sake of denying it. I guess, four years is time enough to come to terms with who you really are; and I AM predictable.

So, I had all these romantic dreams about this train journey back home. I had imagined it to be 36 wonderful hours of alone-time, where I had to please absolutely nobody. I had even created multiple plans to be ‘spontaneous’ by choosing one of the many options I had presented myself with! I had a book to read, my phone had GPRS service, and I also had a laptop full of movies and 3 TV shows.

After managing to get to the station one hour before the departure time, I contentedly sat on those seats on the platform. As I sat there going through my Facebook notifications, a couple of telugites came and sat next to me and one of them asked me if I were from Kerala. Although it was natural for him to have arrived at that conclusion, at that moment I felt I had more in common with this Telugite than the Malayalies around me. It was then that I realised that, no matter how many years I spend anywhere else in the world, I could not see a future where I would not consider Ramagundam (a place in Andhra Pradesh) as ‘home’.

Between the waiting and boarding the train, I managed to confess to all my ‘friend’s on Facebook that I have a big fat ‘thing’ for Ishaan Tharoor ~ I put up a status update saying how his article on the 5 reasons to hate the royal wedding was the only one that succeeded in making me reconsider my previous notions about the whole thing. As the day went on, I realised how asinine the entire ‘thing’ was. I am no longer 14, when it was fun to be crushing on guys whom you knew you would never meet; when you were not the only person in that situation. So maybe I should look out for smart, good-looking men from real life! (But, not yet!)

Presently, I was seated on the train that would take me to the place where my parents presently resided. I got the upper berth and the only other people around were a mother and her 4 year old daughter. However, in a little while another mother boarded the train with her 3 year old son and his grandmother. It would have all been well and good if they had not both started screaming and wailing for the same ball, the same biscuit and god-knows-what-else! Once the noise got unbearable, I switched on my laptop and started watching a couple of episodes from the IT crowd. Around this time, my vestigial desires of ever having kids evaporated into thin air. As I once told my mother (right after I went bald without telling her),  ‘the thing about kids is, it is not like buying something you think you want and later discover you don’t; you can’t throw them away once you get tired of them’ (To which my mum nodded and said ‘true’, even as she gave a meaningful look to my bald head!).

Thrissur station happened to be the only station I got down this time (sadly this train would not be stopping at Ramagundam!). A family-friend came to the station to pass some food for the journey. At lunch I re-discovered exactly how yum curd-rice was! At Palakkad, the mother and daughter got down and another family came in to fill the void. They were 5 people, which effectively filled up the compartment. The rest of the afternoon was spent sleeping and after the short time that I spent on dinner I soon went back to sleep (Oh, but not before I gave the 6th standard kid an education about some of things I studied about the Indian Penal Code this semester!).

I woke up and freshened up and had breakfast. Tried reading ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ for a while but soon went right back into the hands of slumber. When I finally bothered to join the family from Palakkad, it was afternoon. After the initial questions of where are you from, what are you doing, they turned a little more kepo (a Singlish word, that when roughly translated means busybody). The uncle wanted to know when I planned to get married, to which I politely said there’s a lot of time for that. Later the grandma enquired if I knew how to cook, when I replied in the negative, she quickly consoled me saying that men these days know how to cook (really?). At this point the uncle quips in saying I might have already found a cook (not so funny, uncle!). I found the last bit of courteousness in me and denied that allegation. Now I can’t imagine being excited at the prospect of being tied down to this institution of marriage (that is known to fail as often as it succeeds) anytime soon. I like the idea of spending a good few years of not being answerable to anyone, and not having to do anything to please anyone for a good few years before I even consider anything marriage-related.

Luckily, soon my stop arrived and I was reunited with my parents and brother. And as we rode away in our car, laughing at each other, life was perfect again. This was one thing that would definitely continue to be in the future that I see!

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Comments
5 Responses to “A Future I DON’T See!”
  1. Binny V A says:

    So, I gather you are renouncing long travels alone from now?

  2. nirali says:

    its alrite to crush over Ishaan Tharoor… 😛 life is not fun without acting like ur 14 and doing all sorts of asinine things…. 😉

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  1. […] have mentioned this previously and I shall say it again, I hate it when thing do not go according to plan. I sometimes make plans […]



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